Mushroom hunting: A Merry and Pippin story
by PaintedBlank
Summary: Its mushroom season and our favourite little hobbits are off hunting,rather scavenging.They meet a few characters on the way including a lonely Nazgul horse
1. Chapter 1

Just a little summer story cooked up by my friend(raspberry polar bear) and myself. Enjoy

Disclaimer: Between the two of us...we don't have the imagination that Tolkien had. The characters are his and we're just playing with them.

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Merry woke up groggily one morning to hear someone hammering at his door. He went to open the door and as soon as he did he was hit by a flurry of movement by one Peregrin Took.

"It's mushroom season! Come on, get dressed! You haven't even started on your breakfasts yet. Really Merry, how could you not remember? We're going mushroom picking," babbled Pippin. The slightly dazed Merry stepped back and allowed Pippin to come into his disheveled hobbit hole. The truth was that he'd just been too lazy to clean the place. A grin slowly crept up onto Merry's face as he recalled his 'mushroom missions' with the ever energetic Pippin.

"Are you even paying attention? Merry? Come on! Let's go!" Merry was snapped back into reality as a hand was waved hurriedly in front of his sleepy face, and he quickly made his way over to the dresser. He quickly pulled on his breeches, put on a shirt and headed to the kitchen to get some "sustenance" for what he knew was bound to be an interesting day.

On his way to the kitchen he grabbed an enormous mushroom basket. He decided it was Pip's turn to carry it.

"Alright then Pip, I'm ready...and you're holding on to this today," said Merry handing Pippin the basket. As soon as Pippin had a hold of it, Merry let it go and Pippin fell down with the basket.

"That is heavy! I'm not carrying that!" complained Pippin."Well then, no mushrooms for us," and Merry made as if he was heading back to bed. Pippin stopped him.

"Alright, alright, I guess I need the workout. Let's go before Sam hits the (insert mushroom place here). If he gets there first there won't be any left for the rest of Hobbiton."

It was a beautiful day in Hobbiton. Though it was still early in the morn, both Merry and Pippin could hear chattering from the small 'town'. Neither of them would've expected less from the townsfolk, seeing as everyone was setting up for the farmers market competitions. Each year, farmers from around the Shire would come into Hobbiton, to see who had the best produce. Hobbits would place bets on which world renowned farmer had the biggest pumpkins, tomatoes, potatoes, and best of all, mushrooms.

"Looks like we're just in time Pip! Maggot isn't here yet" Merry said as the two sauntered down into the town area. Although not the most 'dignified' thing to do, Merry and Pippin had made a habit of seeing whose crops produced the largest veggies, so that they could sneak off into that farmer's field and take the goods. Every year though, it seemed that the infamous Farmer Maggot ALWAYS had the best veggies, and he'd caught on a lot faster than the other hobbits about Merry and Pippin's stealing habits. Maggot's dogs now knew their scents by heart and would start barking and chasing as soon as they were in smelling distance. But, like all mischievous hobbits, Merry and Pippin always liked a challenge.

"Come on then, we're off to Maggot's farm. I swear he must have some sort of deal with the elves...his crops are magnificent year after year. If we're in luck Maggot is driving his cart up the Road as we speak, and he'll be taking his dogs with him. He can't go anywhere without them these days. They're too attached to him. The farm will be unguarded and he'll only be taking the big stuff to the competition that still leaves loads for us," said Merry quite hurriedly.

They set off down the side lanes and empty gullies to avoid being seen by the bustling hobbits. As they were turning a corner they heard a loud whinny of a horse. If possible, the horse sounded...almost lonely. Looking around they saw a large black horse, and if they weren't mistaken it was one of those Nazgul horses. Pippin froze in his tracks as the horses whinny echoed down the lane. It was a bone chilling sound that could freeze almost anyone in their tracks, and apparently, Pippin was no exception.

"M…M…M…Merry, p...perhaps we should f...find another road... I j...just don't think that..." his words fell on deaf ears, as Merry crept cautiously towards the black abandoned creature.

"Now...don't be frightened, I'm not going to hurt you," cooed Merry to the horse, "Oh your a pretty one aren't you? That is when you're not all armored up and holding up a big scary ring wraith."  
He was now stroking the horse gently and whispering to it to calm it down.  
"You must be lonely. I'm sorry for killing the Witch king, I didn't think about the consequences for the horses and those big black ugly birds."

At the mention of those "big black ugly birds" the horse reared up and snorted loudly. Apparently he didn't much fancy his master leaving him for a bird.

_'It would seem that I've dawned upon a touchy subject..." _Merry thought. After starring at the horse for what seemed like decades, an idea finally popped into his head.

_"This horse would make getting to Maggot's field a lot faster... I wonder if I could..._" Merry cleared his throat and looked into the horse's blood red eyes.

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There'll be more soon enough

Liked it? Didn't like it? Review anyway! 


	2. The drunken king

A/N: from our TONS of reviewers (you can practicallyhear me rolling my eyes) we decided to continue with this story, so here it is. Chapter two

Disclaimer: Own nothing

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"Why do I have to hold the carrot stick?" Pippin complained as the two rode unceremoniously on top of the large black stallion. Pippin was dangling a large carrot in front of the horse and the horse was riding fast trying to get at the carrot but never succeeding. This was the only way they could have coaxed the horse to move.

They were off to farmer Maggot's.

"Pippin, how many times do I have to explain myself?" Merry said, while munching on a carrot himself. Pippin held up one palm in defense, and sighed irritatedly (is that a word?).

"Never mind... I'm tired of the same answer... In the end it's always _"If not for me, then do it for the mushrooms Pip." " _Merry allowed a suppressed smirk to come across his face as he listened to the ramblings of his best friend. But as soon as the smirk appeared, it disappeared.

What he saw on the road ahead of him made him lose all trace of amusement that was replaced with a bone chilling fear. He could see a cloaked black figure, about the height of a grown Man, had just crossed the road in front of them. That couldn't be however since the King had banned all Men from entering the Shire.

_Maybe its one of the Nazgul, maybe the ring wasn't completely destroyed, maybe he wants its horse back...the same horse they were currently riding. Maybe he had come to find it. _All these thoughts were running a mile a minute inside Merry's head. Pippin still hadn't realized what was happening and was still rambling. Merry nudged him quickly in the back and urged him to shut up warning him of the man.

"Ow! Merry! That hurt! Don't you remember that's where that scarecrow fell on my 3 days ago? Of all hobbits, I would've thought that you..." Silence overcame Pippin as chill ran down his spine. The hazel (I'm not sure if that's his eye color) eyed hobbit dared to look at the path ahead of him, and what he saw made him accidentally drop the carrot stick. It was horrible. Worse than that! It was, IT WAS...

"Hay guysss!" slurred the mighty King of Gondor and Arnor, "oooh pretty carrot." With that the drunken King picked up the carrot Pippin had dropped and started eating it. The horse had come to a complete standstill and was snorting mad that this drunken Man had gotten to the carrot he had been chasing.

Both Hobbits couldn't believe what they were seeing! The supposed (insert adjective) King of Gondor was drunk, AND eating a carrot... that had fallen on the ground... how unkingly!

The King was sniggering now. He seemed to think something was very funny. He kept going on until Merry finally asked him what exactly was so funny.

"You see that tree over there? Hehehe...that pear tree?" the king asked sniggering, "Those pears look just like Arwen! Hehehehehe...ROUND!" He was in absolute hysterics now.  
"Although...although I bet those pears don't have a temper like her...or mood swings!" slurred the king.

Merry looked at the King quizzically as he slowly dismounted the horse.

"Are you saying Arwen's fat?" asked Pippin curiously from the horse.

"Pippin! Try to be more tactful," replied Merry reproachfully. He was now trying to get Aragorn to stop laughing.

"Fat isn't it my dear Pip pip pip" replied Aragorn quite eccentrically, "No no, its my fault. I got her pregnant. She-Elves are bloomin' MAD when they're pregnant, oh why didn't I go with Eowyn? This one is making me insane" mumbled the drunken (and miserable) king.

_"I'm going to be an uncle?" yelled Pippin, he accidentally kicked the horse that he was still mounted on and the horse took off with top speed rushing down the road. _

"Pippin you idiot!" yelled Merry after him.

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